DALI ALMA GAZETTE
Dali and her team bring you a variety of opinions on the state of the world and wisdom on life within the full
spectrum of being Human, with laughter and creative entertainment to get you through your day.
Mindful Moment
Byline: Fozzie the Empath
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Challenge Question:
​Who or What is living Rent Free in your brain?
Do you find yourself thinking about one topic too often?
Your job, a partner, a relative, a friend, finances, yourself?
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​If you are, it is time to drill down on the "why" you are allowing this to happen and serve an eviction notice.
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​If your rent freeloader is your job, it could be time to look for a new one or advocate for changes in the position that would benefit the company and yourself.
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​If it is a person in your life, list how they negatively impact you. Are they worth putting in the effort to create change in your relationship? If they don't bring positivity to your life, they don't fit—time to evict. Sorry to say, if it is your mother, father, or children, those are life sentences; none of us are escaping from them except narcissists.
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​If your brain is overwhelmed with finances, figure out the issue's root. Is it your or your partner's spending habits? Income to debt ratio is not balanced? Act on the subject, and get a financial advisor and a therapist. Surprisingly the two go hand in hand. Couples that get in financial trouble from issues (other than the loss of a job) usually stem from a lack of unity in managing funds from the start of the relationship.
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​If you are the guilty party taking up the most rent-free space in your brain, obsessing about your life in a minute-by-minute playbook, that is usually an indicator that you need to reach out for help. Therapy is good for everybody; find a therapist that is highly recommended. Be brave and try something new you have dreamed about doing. Creative outlets are fantastic for getting your mind off yourself. Volunteering, giving of yourself without expectation of reward, is the best way to heal a mind or heart.
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Check out Breakin Asshats Blog for more inciteful tidbits.
How to keep an Asshat from invading your personal space at work.
Byline: Dr. Birdie
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The first step is understanding the four top-tier Asshat types.
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​1) Born Asshat - selfish, loudmouth, obnoxious, inconsiderate, and consistently disrespectful. Every family has at least one; we refer to them as Chihuahuas in the canine world.
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​2) Political Asshat - (not all politicians -- just 98% Republicans) try to manipulate public opinion, blatantly disregarding the truth and facts. Comparable to a Beagle among canines, which blatantly violates the house's rules and acceptable general behavior.
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3) Revenge Asshat - everyone can admit to this behavior. Who hasn't flipped the bird when an asshat cuts you off on the highway? For a canine, they are just as guilty of revenge asshat behavior. If their human misses feeding time, it's no surprise they find a doody in their bed when they get home. Being a human's best friend takes much effort, so at the least, we should be fed on time.
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4) TOFC Asshat - temporarily out of-control asshat behavior. This is rage-inspired behavior, and while it can be highly entertaining, it can also evolve into erratic, violent behavior. Many of you immediately assume I will call out our Pitbull breed in comparison, but that is not the case. It is the Pomeranians that are most feared among the canine family. If I come across one while playing in the dog park, I drop and roll under the nearest bush, 100% not afraid to show weakness and lose my toy.
The type of Asshat you are exposed to on the job tends to be all the above except the Political Asshat.
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I have found a method that successfully keeps these boundary-challenged Asshats far from your personal space by simply raising a mug to your lips or leave it sitting in a prominent place on your desk.
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As a side benefit, they work to keep anyone you have to "allow" in your area on their best behavior, as they don't want you to take a chance on an asshat takedown.
My best friend, aka human caretaker, has found the surprising but wonderful side benefit of wearing our
T-Shirts, when worn while out shopping, keep that annoying salesperson out of your space so you can shop in peace. See our shop!
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Politics on Fire
w/ Sanity check by Bugsy-Editor-in Chief
Byline: Dali Alma
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George Washington famously said, "The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is a frightful despotism."
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He was referring to political parties, but if he were alive today, he would be amazed at how the same statement fits the average imploding marriage.
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It would be safe to assume that George Washington, known as the "Founding Father" of this country, would be apoplectic over the current state of politics and life in general in the United States.
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George did not identify as a Republican or Democrat, but he was an empath, and Lord knows he would see the Republicans as needing the most help. Consider it; saving Trump from himself could've been his ultimate war to win.
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God help us if he came face to face with far-right wanna-be conspiracist Marjorie Taylor Greene. Washington was no snowflake, but even he knew insanity was a battle that could not be won.​
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Sadly, it does seem like the Republican party is in the lead for the most corrupt, criminal behavior.
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The Democrats' issues seem to run more like being unable to keep their pants zipped. ​
Challenge Question:
If you could bring someone from the past into the future in our never-ending search for a Savior, who would it be and why?
Tik Tok Fav
Dali Alma
Featured Columnist
Fearless Leader &
Flies like a butterfly
Slays like no other
Fozzie
"The Empath"
Featured Commentator
Spreads Sympathy and love. Lives to hold Miley Cyrus's hand and bring her flowers.
Identifies as adjective: Fragile
Bugsy
Editor-in-Chief
Open-Minded All Day
Loves a Boomer
Asshat -
"One who has their head up their ass as a
hat."
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As defined in Urban Dictionary By Anonymous
Oct 11, 2002
Dr. Birdie
Featured Commentator & Lead Counselor of Breakin' Asshats; The Blog
Advocates for Humans based on years of observing their undeniable ability to be the best saboteurs of their lives on both the personal and work front.
Dr. Birdie is an unbiased canine who helps female and male humans with a flair for getting to the root of the problem with heart and humor.
About Us
At Breakin' Asshats Unlimited, we believe in the power of creativity. Our mission is to create and provide products that inspire creative thinking, break the mold, and bring a smile to your face. We offer a wide range of t-shirts and mugs designed to make you think, laugh and connect with others. Our gifts are meant to make a statement and remind us never to take life too seriously. We believe we can make a difference by starting conversations with our products.
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