This is my conclusion based on all the letters I get from humans that have severely limited understanding of the basics of living and surviving relationships. What kind of an asshat move is this not to include a skill so crucial to life on the seven essential Life Skills list? We could add #8 or expand upon #3 and #4.
Life Skill #3 Communication It only covers the basics of picking up "social cues" and how to "listen." I must report that the listening part is a life skill most male persuasion has failed to learn. In a relationship, they excel at "tune out" vs. "listening," which therapists are grateful for as it keeps them in surplus cash for vacation homes and online spending.
Life Skill #4 Taking on Challenges in words correlates to Relationships, but sadly that is not the intent of this life skill. It is more directed at personal achievement, physical and career goals. Is a Relationship not the Ultimate Challenge in Life?
Think about how your life would have changed if you had learned about Relationships related to love and sex at an early age as part of your general education in Life Skills.
If you knew growing up that your First Love would be permanently ingrained in your memory, for every love afterward to be compared to, would you have made different choices in life? I can tell from all your letters that the answer overwhelmingly would be, hell, yes.
I see Relationships of love and sex as "The Dance of Love," an art form and a skill which may be why it is the "Missing #8" as it is difficult to define. Love is an elusive emotion that is difficult to capture in words. But at its center, love is a beautiful life-altering experience. It can make the heart flutter and the body sweat with joy. Sometimes it's blissful, and sometimes it can sting. Love takes effort and is a challenge every step of the way. It requires patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, understanding, and gratitude. It breathes through the art of listening with your ears and your eyes. It flourishes when both partners give the gift of personal space and time. Sex is a great bodily function, but it is mind-blowing when supported by a genuine love for each other. Too often, humans misread a pheromone attraction as love and are surprised when it burns out quickly. People who jump instantly into sexual relationships (Tinder anyone?), no judgment here; it just generally means you are terrified of falling in love and constantly finding ways to sabotage finding love. At least, that is what the "romantic" in me wants to believe. But, I am not so naive as not to know Tinder is the wonderland for the classic out-of-control friendly neighborhood nympho and cold-hearted narcissists with incredible libidos.
If I were human, I would keep my legs crossed until I felt love for someone. Mostly because my DNA is unique to me, and I don't want to host someone else's DNA for the rest of my life if I don't love them.
I would know I was in love if:
If I served him first
If he genuinely supported my hopes and dreams
If I spent time with his family without complaining
If I sacrificed my time watching football with him and did it with grace
If I appreciated the "little things" he did for me of his free will
To list a few things……
Love is worth it, but it is like a game of chess. One wrong move and you're in a mess, but when the pieces are in place, it is the ultimate experience of life.
How do we pay this forward to future kids learning life skills? The challenge to adding #8 is in words and formatting that they can absorb and incorporate into their lives as a warning of
the intricacies of falling in love and the fallout of sex without love.
Comments:
True Dat - about time Humans realized that "higher education" focuses primarily on the environment, business, and politics to teens out of High School that have not learned how to survive real-life relationships.
Counselor Feedback:
Understanding Love is a lifetime master class. Learning to discern if
you are indeed in love, or just in "lust" can be confusing, and many partners find out they married mistaking love for lust. No one understands what love for a child is until they have one. Or how love for a partner, no matter how much you love them, will be tested over and
over again due to issues related to finances, medical, and God help you
family relatives.
Sex, you can get away with being weak-minded; love, on the other hand, takes a robust and patient mind that can process complex issues and a caring heart. When shopping for a partner, swipe left if they read as a narcissist. Always.
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