What to do when your ladies love song is not "me so horny".

I am constantly amazed by the plethora of male humans I receive letters from in my Dear Dr. Birdie inbox who feel their partner is being an asshat for not wanting to jump their bone 24/7. This is not an issue in the dog universe; in fact men might be more crushed to deal with our females whose attitude is "just get it over with and don't get stuck." But, as a keen study on the complex being a Human is, I have some solid advice.

The first step is understanding why your partner does not wish to embark on a ride on your party train. Focus for a moment on your verbal interactions with your Credit Photo: Fozzie the Empath /Horny Sympathizer partner and playback in your mind conversations and

facial reactions that occur when you bring up sex.

If your partner constantly tells you to think with the brain between your ears and not the one in your pants, that is telling you that you have no consideration for her feelings, and your lack of intelligent thought depletes her libido to a state of zero desire.

If their facial reaction is just short of a look of horror with a collective body cringe, then Dude, you got no game. You are being told you are so lacking in skills in bed they would rather spend their time cleaning the worst of toilets. For this, there is a cure called the internet; there is no shortage of videos to study the art of sex.

The good news is that if your shortcoming (unintended sarcasm) in the sex department is due to your lack of consciousness, you can learn to consider feelings and read the room before making a move on her. If intelligence is an issue, I got nothing for you. Well, I do, but I prefer not to be negative and suggest you break up and swim among the bimbos who hand it out freely at the local bar.

How to read the room? Start by taking note of your partner's daily schedule; when can you ease her burden? If she comes home from work looking stressed, step up and make dinner with a nice glass of wine. In turn, if she has been home with the kids all day when you come in from work and looks frazzled and desperate for a way out, send her to the bedroom for a relaxing bath while you make dinner. A super turn-on for females is a man that does dishes and laundry, so keep that in your back pocket to whip out when nothing else is working.

Most notable of the female human species is their desire for partners with a sense of humor. From my experience in the humans best friend club, our membership is floored by the ease a male human can transition a female from not in the mood to horny as hell just by making her laugh. It is truly remarkable.

If you cannot be naturally funny, you can do something as simple as walking into a room wearing a T-Shirt that will crack her up.

Go to Shop --->

Comments:

Women require so much extra work; maybe the bimbo route is more

of a positive than a negative.

Bugsy Editor-in-Chief

Counselor Feedback:

Omg, Bugsy! Says the dog doing every bitch on the corner!

Both men and women require a lot of work to survive a relationship, period. That is why I would still be a dog if given the choice in the next life.

You all have been handed the keys to breach the walls of the vaginal castle if you follow as directed. It is all basic: be kind, considerate, patient, and most of all, be freakin' funny. Another critical element is to be confident, not cocky, confident. Look at the facial expression of the Dude who just wants his Dick to find joy in life and share it with you. See how his smile is charming and exudes, "How can you resist me?" his body language is screaming, "I got this; give me a chance." The Dude who wants to Rock Your World with a vacuum is selling it with confidence and a side of bad boy. The drawbridge is instantly lowered because she believes he knows his way around a vacuum (ahem) ............slow and easy.

Side note, Ladies - If you are experiencing the opposite problem where your mate is not understanding, you are ready and waiting. Throw him a shirt; reverse psychology is like a gift from the gods.